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Ask Erin: Help! I Found Out The Guy I've Been Seeing Has A Girlfriend!

17 May Mariella replies Do you really care? He may have feelings for you, but they're nowhere near as strong as the ones he has for himself. This man's focus is definitely directed at his own desires, not yours. Luckily for him you're playing along, offering him no-strings sex despite knowing that he is involved with. How to Get a Guy to Break Up with His Girlfriend and Hook Up with You. Think through the implications of what you do next to try to influence his choices - the pain and complications of following your desires might not be worth the price. Make yourself the person he comes to when he has problems or needs advice. 20 May You're processing two things here: the girlfriend/his deceit and your feelings for him. When it comes to his girlfriend, he wasn't honest with you about having a relationship. However, as you said, you have a long-established “friends with benefits” situation with him, nothing more. Should he have told you?.

What to do when your FWB turns out to have a girlfriend? January 18, 5: It's fun and easy and we seem to have no problem keeping it casual-- turns out that's probably because he has a http://1dating.info/z/french-bulldog-puppies-for-sale-in-kansas.php I was contacted by my FWB's "girlfriend," telling me that it was over between them because he kept cheating on her with me.

I had no clue he was in a relationship and looking back I am confused because sometimes we would see each other several nights a week or even spend an entire weekend together. How could he have time to be in a genuine relationship? She said they tried to 'make it work' despite the affair but now their 2 year relationship is over.

FWIW I have been involved with him for nearly 1 year myself, which she clearly does not know. I confronted him about it- he was totally blase and claimed that he knew she had stronger feelings for him, than he did for her, that he was not her boyfriend, but that she was his other FWB. I then asked him if he was going to continue to see her, he What To Do When The Guy Youre Hookup Has A Girlfriend I don't know- wtf! With me he was pretty straight forward, we agreed to a sexual, but casual relationship that was explicitly not exclusive.

So on one hand I don't feel wronged- on the other hand, I have a hard time dismissing this woman's claim, although there is no way for me to verify or disprove it. In a way it's just as bad to cheat on your girlfriend as it is to string along someone you know has serious feelings for you. So now I feel very suspicious and that I cannot trust what he says. I am unable to reconcile the possibility that he has had a girlfriend this whole time with my perception of him as a person.

When I confronted him, he did not seem nervous or uncomfortable-- in other words he didn't act like he'd been caught. I don't know who to believe. If she was truly his girlfriend, this is not a person I would even be friends with, never mind the benefits! If they were fwb and she fell for him then that's a different situation.

Should I just drop him? Is there any way to get at the truth? You could try tracking down corroboration via various social media outlets but at the end of the day, who needs the fucking drama?

This guy does not know or care to know right from wrong. Like it's very wrong to cheat on a girlfriend who loves you seriously and would be hurt by being cheated on.

Definitely don't ever multiple What Is The Legal Hookup Age Range sure anything this dude says. Your gut is telling you the right thing to do. Unlike this guy, you're not a bad person. You are absolutely right. This guy is being super shitty. Always listen to your instincts.

You feel like he's shady, then don't waste time convincing yourself otherwise. No penis is worth self-deception. Find a better guy to FWB with. There are tons of them who don't mind being ethical when it comes to sex and hurting others. You could try believing him. If she wasn't crazy, why would she send you that email?

Dating Advice: Should You Go After A Boy Who Has A Girlfriend?

And that, rather than making clear to her that he was seeing and sleeping with other people per his understanding of the relationship, he led her to believe that they were exclusive or at the very least knowingly allowed her to believe that was the case. Because she believed that she had a boyfriend who was repeatedly cheating on her and who had apparently not respected her wishes that their relationship be exclusive or communicated to her that he was not going to respect those wishes.

Having your significant other cheat on you tends to make people a little angry. And when people are a little angry, they tend to say and do things that are a little more assertive than they might say or do in situations where they're not so angry.

If you take your FWB's word, his girlfriend is understandably upset and your FWB is clearly not the sort who respects other people's wishes or feelings.

It's pretty misogynistic to just call a girl "crazy" for having feelings and expressing them via email. It's not like she showed up at his apartment while poster and and go here were hooking up and screaming. We're all familiar with the situation of those guys who lie to and mislead sexual partners without compunction. They rarely act like they've been caught.

In fact, they will swear that the girl is "crazy" or "bitches be crazy. Protect yourself by ending it with him and finding a more ethical situation. I hate the "crazy girl" trope, but sending you a facebook message is a pretty crazy move on her part. You've been sleeping and hanging out with this guy for a while.

Who do you believe - him or a total stranger? It seems like the biggest problem is your lack of trust in him. This is a deal-breaker in a sexual relationship.

Ask Erin: Help! I Found Out The Guy I've Been Seeing Has A Girlfriend! | Ravishly | Media Company

here You need to raise this with him once more, let him know you're not feeling comfortable, and ask him what he can do to help restore a sense of trust.

If he's got nothing constructive to offer, it's time to say goodbye. No need to linger in murky waters. Sounds like the "girlfriend" scored her point. Who knows what the exact details are, but consider this: How did this alleged girlfriend find out about you and get your contact information?

What To Do When The Guy Youre Hookup Has A Girlfriend

Yes, he's been leading her on. Even if if if she was only his FWB and she understood this, it's clear A she's very stuck on him and very hurt, B he doesn't CARE he's hurting her, he may keep seeing her!

This guy is actively hurting someone. It's too much drama. She won't end up with him even if you stop seeing him, BTW, so this isn't about you stepping out of the way. Don't be a part of this any further.

Don't sleep with anyone who is so careless towards others. I don't think you should acknowledge her message. If I can think of some way you might help her, I'll pop back in here. She's clearly pretty obsessed. You're likely not the person to clue her in on how heartless this guy is towards her, even though she really really needs to know.

Do I feel respected? I think you should end the relationship because if he could do it to her, then who is to say he won't do it with you as well. I know if it hard to deal with it but everything heals over time. I will answer based in my personal experience, a guy did it with me; its a long story but i met him from high school, i was in love with him, but he wasn't sure about, and he is not good expressing feelings, later he get a new girlfriend from College that was hard but after a while he started to chat with me again, and he cheats http://1dating.info/z/present-for-a-guy-you-just-started-hookup.php his girlfriend with me, i felt awful, he say he is not in love with that girl, but guess what, he is still with the girl, so that will hurt you a lot,because you will start to have hard feelings so the best thing since my perspective is let him go.

Sounds like the absolute best-case scenario is that he didn't set the boundaries he needed to with her or cut things off when he should have. And apparently still What To Do When The Guy Youre Hookup Has A Girlfriend not do that, even though she freaked out about you. If she claims they've broken up, what is he going to do - sleep with her on a FWB basis - which it doesn't seem likely she'd want?

Or lie to her and pretend like he's stopped seeing you or anyone else? Learn more here he's going to keep leading on a FWB who clearly wants and thinks she has more, even though he doesn't? It's a weird answer that doesn't paint him in a trustworthy light. Equals confirmation that her allegation is true.

That he considers her an FWB is completely irrelevant. He knew she had stronger feelings for him. That's because he wasn't "caught" cheating on you. He was caught not caring about someone else's feelings. Since he doesn't care about other people's feelings, he doesn't care if he's caught not caring. I think this is where you need to dig deeper as more info as your own opinion about the matter.

Then let's assume that he's telling the truth that he knew that she had those feelings but that he nevertheless continued and may still continue to have sex with her while also having sex with you. Why is that a different situation? I think it's much easier to fake being generically calm than to fake an emotional response truly appropriate to a situation.

In this case, if he were telling the truth, some appropriate responses might include "WTF?! Perhaps you know him to be a remarkably even-keeled character who handles stress without nervousness or discomfort, but given the circumstances, it seems more likely to be the demeanor he has practiced for the past year while lying his pants off and hiding everything from everyone.

I'm pretty sure that's a situation that would require plenty of very calm, non-nervous lying to pull off. That's just one point. Based on the whole picture, I'd suggest dropping him like a hot rock.

If she was truly his girlfriend, this is not a person I would even be friends with, never mind the benefits! I won't mind his business and go away. Definitely don't ever trust anything this dude says. There is no substance to the relationship and there will not be by people making rules and asking him to change numbers.

She was inappropriate in her message to you, but he doesn't sound so appropriate in his conversation with you. Bigamy happens with surprising frequency, where someone has two entire marriages, houses, and sets of children, so I'm not sure why you think someone couldn't tell one person "Oh, we're an exclusive couple" and another person "Oh, we're friends with benefits" and carry it off for years.

Maybe she travels a lot for business. Maybe he tells her he travels a lot for business, but he's been spending that time with you.

7 Lessons I Learned From Dating A Guy With A Girlfriend - 1dating.info | 1dating.info

It really boils down to if you believe him or not. You know him, we don't. Sending a Facebook message is "crazy" these days?

She isn't a random chick with an unrequited crush trying to stir up shit.

What To Do When The Guy Youre Hookup Has A Girlfriend

It's confirmed that she was at least sleeping with him, and it's pretty much confirmed that he was either cheating on her or stringing her along, both of which are dickish behaviors on his part.