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Dear Asian Women, I'm Calling You Out On This One — Aesthetic Distance

29 Mar Why is it okay for white guys who date Asian girls to regularly hear that they have yellow fever? I'll go even further, and suggest that shaming someone for their interracial relationship can actually encourage them to have racist thoughts. I'm guilty of this. Whenever someone teases me for having yellow fever. 4 Feb Being Asian means that when I meet someone for the first time, they ask me where I'm from—“New York”—no, where I'm really from. And that's why Asian women are suspicious of white men who serially date Asians: we're concerned that we're just one in a long list of submissive objects for them to use at. 6 Jan It's hard to go out in a large American city nowadays and not see a white guy holding hands with an Asian girl. It's even getting I am sorry to all you sisters out there, but the reality is that all Western men are attracted to Asian women. Western men date Asian girls because they can't get a REAL WOMAN.

I'm an Asian girl. I don't date Asian guys. Yep, I'm one of those that date lots and lots of mostly, but not always white guys. Asians are marrying non-Asians at a rate much higher than any other racial group. This summer Pew reported that 37 percent of all recent Asian-American brides wedded a non-Asian groom.

In an earlier study of the couples who married in9 percent of whites, 16 percent of blacks and 26 percent of Hispanics did so with someone of a different race or ethnicity. Thirty-one percent of Asians did.

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This trend has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with patriarchy and cultural sexism and a lifestyle I grew up with and want nothing to do with anymore. Wesley Yang wrote about it in New York magazine last year and made my heart beat faster with the recognition of his rage against my cultural heritage machine. Fuck Ivy League mania. Fuck deference to authority.

Fuck humility and hard work.

Im Asian Dating A White Guy

Fuck sacrificing for the future. Fuck earnest, striving middle-class servility," he says. My mother born and raised in China is obsessed with career "steps" and "paths" and working for this magical future that I doubt exists.

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She can't fathom that I'm a freelancer by choice and constantly laments "that economy. The physical attributes of my ideal man? If we're being stereotypical about it, well, I like geeky, scrawny and without muscles. And if we're talking about this, plenty of white guys have tiny penises.

And I'm sure not all Asian guys have tiny penises. Though, I'd have to sleep with some to find out for sure. So really, not a physical thing. Even if a charming, funny, intellectually curious, in so many words perfect man who has untied himself from the chains of Asian virtues came down my way -- even you, Daniel Liu whose hotness is practically a law of physics -- I would probably pass.

Partly, it's because I can date non-Asian dudes. More of me and other "racist"-against-other-Asian-men Asian women live in communities with people of other races. More of us attend those bastions of liberal thought mingling with other young, upwardly mobile types of colleges. More of us are in well-paying jobs, which expose us to people outside our ethnic enclaves. But it's also because we still see ourselves as minorities, immigrants, outsiders.

And we want the same thing new residents of America have wanted for hundreds of years: Im Asian Dating A White Guy here true Americans. Even among American-born people of Asian descent, only 28 percent describe themselves as "Americans.

I was born in Beijing to Chinese parents and emigrated to the U.

It's not OK to tell me I'm 'not like white girls'

I don't have an accent. Aside from my very Midwestern one.

More on Dating Transgender and gender-nonconforming communities will be the focus for dating app Tinder, says CEO The CEO acknowledged that the app has failed to provide trans and gender non-conforming users with the same quality of experience as the app's cisgender users. My Italian cooking skills are far superior to my Chinese ones. Even worse, it suggests that perhaps they are viewing Asian women more as one-dimensional objects than human beings.

My Italian cooking skills are far superior to my Chinese ones. My Spanish is better than my Chinese. My closet is filled with J.

Crew and a healthy dash of Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren. My pale, white-bread boyfriend jokes that I'm one of the whitest people he's ever met.

Im Asian Dating A White Guy

And that's probably not by accident. I date white men because the term "model minority" grosses me out. I date white men because it feels like I'm not ostracizing myself into an Asian ghetto and antiquated ideas of Asian unity.

I still see myself as a minority. And with that, pretty soon comes connotations of "outsider.

My Spanish is better than my Chinese. And I'm sure not all Asian guys have tiny penises. Fuck earnest, striving middle-class servility," he says. While many Asian women I've had this debate with want to call me out by saying it shouldn't be a problem if someone has see more preference, I would like to argue that the same way we are trying to remedy the idea that only white models and actors are attractive via greater representation, we need to do the same in our personal lives. My pale, white-bread boyfriend jokes that I'm one of the whitest people he's ever met.

I realize my thinking is fucked up. But as long as men tell me over dinner, "I've always wanted to be with an Asian girl" and then still Im Asian Dating A White Guy they're getting laid, and as long as during beauty countdowns white girls are called "beauties" and Asian girls are called "exotic beauties" -- well, then white will still be the societal standard.

Junot Diaz describes it as white supremacy. The idea that white is still tops, SAT scores, corporate jobs and fancy degrees be damned. In the Boston ReviewDiaz says: So here it is: I'd rather not be.

I'd much rather be swept up into that beautiful land of racially ambiguous beauties. But for now, I will not and will never date one of my "people. Skip to main content.